Mi a gyal, jos kaal mi Mimi. Mi a 30 an bout fi ton 31. Mi have a bachelor’s degree inna economics, good looks, an mi quite mature. but until now mi still single. Mi nuh know why dis problem so difficult…even though mi really waan fi have a husband an pickney dem like normal women in general. Mi also been inna a relationship several times an di longest was almost 6 years, an it break up cause mi did feel seh di man did less interested dan mi. Neks, mi go aan an aan wid sevral man, bot stil non a dem neva rait… Bot no bada sopraiz, ina di taim mi did a date mi ongl kis wan smadi an dem brok op tu kaa mi neva waahn fi kis no muor kaaz mi did fried a sin. but dat a fact, mi really fraid. An afta dat, mi neva date at all, like people weh date, mi nuh even waan hold hands, mi nuh really waan. Why mi get horny wen mi deh close to a girl??
But now di story turn roun, not drastically, mi still hope seh someday deh ago have di right man fi be mi destiny, mi nuh know wen but mi still a try… but di story weh mi ago tell will be a diversity a characters & attitudes inna mi life journey. Wa mi a fiil rait nou, mi a likl bit kanfyuuz bout miself. Mi no know miself tu, weh kain a tipikal smadi mi riili bi. Piipl gud, bad piipl, naamal, rilijos, ar mi a di muos ipokrit smadi ina di worl?? either mi cyan figure it out.
OK, before mi tell di story, please promise seh afta yuh read mi story, yuh wi gi mi an opinion, advice or someting like dat bout weda mi still normal as a woman, an if mi a lesbian, weh a di driving factor why mi like some a mi female fren dem… Weh mi is mi born fi be a lesbian.
A jus because mi thirsty fi loving caress an driven by a biological need weh mi neva get fram a man? A because a disappointment cause apparently God neva gi mi a man as a companion A because a other factors? Dis staat fram mi hobby since elementary school, namely MASTURBATION, mi nuh know how it staat, but mi did feel happy wen mi press di side a mi vagina wid mi thumb or squeeze a bolster. But until now mi nuh dare fi change mi masturbation style to someting weird, let alone insert someting inna mi vagina, mi nuh waan, mi ago jus mek mi husband have di original one later, hehe.
Mi have knowledge a sex since mi was likkle. staatin fram pornographic videos & magazines weh mi uncle an older bredda (who happen fi be all male bredda) collect, to even catching mi uncle & auntie again… Mi nuh dat smart…
If yuh staat fram di beginning, it look like at every level a education an career mi always have a crush pan mi fren dem, yes, if mi memba, dem pretty too… but basically mi a di loyal type , dat’s why it’s good dat mi still a date a guy Inna each scene, only one figure deh inna yuh heart at dat time. Mi ago try fi sort it… 1. Kristi. him was mi cousin weh was di same age (at dat time him did still inna elementary school). Im a di one weh teach mi fi di first time fi put wi thigh dem tugeda. Mi go a him yaad during long holidays. Bot nou it naamal an a laik it neva apm.
2. Eva. Neighbor’s kid. Im a di one weh invite mi fi experiment fi di first time. wi open di “CD” an rub har vagina wid mi. but mi neva enjoy it, nobody neva come in… (dis was also elementary school time) 3. Mi older cousin (dis time a bwoy). Him invite mi to ML fi di first (an last) time. Mi nuh know if mi did still a virgin or not, cause him did deh inna high school aredi at dat time, an him penis did really big, mi nuh tink it go inna, man, mi did still likkle an mi neva ‘t bleed either… 4. Yuli. Mi classmate inna middle school. but only to di extent dat mi like it, notn more.
5. Early. A fren fram middle school inna grade 3. Dis a jus someting mi like.
6. Mala. fren, nieba nier di ous. different high school. But mi really obsessed wid dis kid, in fact mi often get annoyed wen him get close to girls or bwoys. Mi fantasy a play wid him. Mi almost kiss jus cause mi did waan know, but it neva work out, mi get goosebumps first… we was really enemies a lot… an wen mi go inna college mi staat move weh fram him, tired a always being di one weh give in…
7. Indri. college fren. a 8 a wi. but mi feel close to him. Wi all often sleep ova wen deh have study events tugeda. Being close to him often mek mi vagina wet, dat’s because sometimes him like fi hug mi, mi often bite him, or wen mi did a sleep inna di same bed, once (don’t know if him did do it pan purpose or did jus a sleep ) him hug mi, him legs dem did deh pan mi body tu, but him did a sleep. Mi swier se mi kudn sliip kaaz a dat, mi jos wach im uol nait. Mi really waan hug him an kiss him again, but mi nuh dare… but wen mi wake up di next morning mi feel like mi CD all muddy… Mi also often have wet dreams wid him. Like wen mi did go pan holiday fi 3 months to America, mi did a dream bout a hot kiss wid him, eeh, wen we come back a Bandung, di incident was almost di same, only him kiss mi pan di forehead wen him seh goodbye.. . til nou wi stil a fren, bot a schrienj wen wi mek arenjment fi get tugeda wid evribadi Wen im a kis sombadi els im a jos cheek tu cheek, wa mek im a yuuz im lip dem wid mi…? bot im don marid aredi an jos av wan biebi. No feelings nuh deh fi him no more.
8. Ning. Mi colleague at a textile company. A sweet black girl wid long hair, really handsome. Im marid bot im no av no pikni. Mi really feel comfortable fi talk to har wid mi (understandably wi hobby is blabbing) even though we jus meet at di office, but wen mi reach home mi call har again… Even though she divorce fram har husband now, mi nuh t feel like hanging out wid har very often no more, fraid fi continue ah..
a month or two, wi still usually text or call. But mi once annoyed him by not responding to him SMS, even though mi reply wid a bit a curtness, him seh dat mi really did waan try figet him. so im get beks bak. Not a single SMS or call neva ansa no more. Mi did so curious dat mi ask him, “Why yuh nuh respond no more, yuh angry or disgusted wid mi??”
im ansa se: “Mi no beks ar disgust wid yu, a jos se mi kanfiuz bout we fi du wid yu, mi stil de nier, mi fried yu naa go kyahn get rid a dat de fiil , even if mi stay weh, mi nuh feel comfortable cause mi consider yuh more dan a true fren, but mi choose fi stay weh , fi yuh sake too, right…”
Mi spechless, can only ansa “ok fine. Den mi naa go eva bada yu agen, if mi go a Depok mi naa go stap bai yu yaad. BTW, please ansa honestly, yuh eva share yuh problems wid somebody?” im ansa: “notin”. Communication wid him stop deh. Mi go a Depok agen tu bot mi neva stap bai im yaad. Miebi smadi tel im se if mi stap bai a Depok, mi tingk im did riili beks se mi neva vizit im. but a dat him did ask fah… inna di end him move to a rented place somweh. Mi try text an call an it turn out seh di numba no active no more. Mi waan aks piipl, bot mi shiem miself.. sad ending.. shi gaan.. bot stil pan mi main..,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,